Life leading up to our first appointment with Dr. Amols has been pretty hectic. We are trying to fix our guest room shower that is only getting hot water, Raiden has destroyed his dog bed and the dog door cover, I’ve been working tons of hours, and the youth leader for my church recently quit so I’m going to be planning more events for the youth group as well. We are wanting to get the shower fixed before I get pregnant since it is the shower I normally use and water that is too hot can be bad for the baby. We don’t know what happened with Raiden, but he decided he didn’t like his bed in the kennel anymore and then today while I was at work he decided he absolutely had to be in the backyard and destroyed the cover. As we use the dog door as a wall for the kennel so he can to outside and still be in the kennel we need to figure out something else out for the time being.
On top of normal life popping up as it has a tendency to do, Matthew and I are preparing for our upcoming appointment with Dr. Amols. I am having to prepare mentally most of all since fertility diagnosis tends to involve blood draws and uncomfortable ultrasounds for me. I have a moderate needle phobia where I have sobbing panic attacks when needles are involved, so we are going to need to work out with Dr. Amols on how to help keep me from stressing out during blood draws/injections. When we first started looking into our infertility we did find that there are creams that help dull the pain of blood draws and if Matthew is with me I panic less. I am hoping that they also have small needles at the practice which can also help. I am also having to restrain myself from searching things on the Internet regarding fertility. I am a planner so this is a huge hurdle for me. I have found from previous searches that the Internet only has the worst possible scenarios which does not help with my stress levels.
Matthew and I have both acknowledged that regardless of what testing or diagnoses or treatments we go through, everything is in God’s hands and He will ultimately decide whether we are able to have biological children and what methods we will go through in order to achieve this dream.