Today I realized that the fertility medications are hitting me harder this cycle than they have before. I had to catch myself multiple times to keep from snapping at my coworkers, including my supervisor. The things I would have snapped over weren’t even important things. They were things like my coworkers taking breaks when they were supposed to or lunch being early. These are not things that I would normally get upset over or should be getting upset over. I also almost broke down in tears 3 times today at work, also not normal. I’m not sure if the increased emotional response is a good thing that means the hormones are working well, and the follicles are growing well, or if it just means I’m going crazy and just being a cranky person.
For those that do not know I have had a needle phobia for a good chunk of my life. The phobia stems from the severe pain I feel during the injection or blood draw and the emotional trauma of being held down as a child to get my vaccinations. Tonight I made a major break through with my phobia, I managed to give myself my injection without using my numbing cream. Before everyone goes and gets excited for me I have to admit that the reason I did the injection without the cream was because I lost track of time and it came time for my injection and I hadn’t put the cream on. I didn’t really have a choice about whether or not I would do it without the cream, but I managed to without a panic attack which is a big step for me.
This cycle has so far been an interesting one and I hope that leads to being a good thing. As I have said many times before it is all in God’s timing, even if I’m a bit impatient for it to happen.